Yay Giraffes!

Broke Down

2012-02-29T11:39:00.000-05:00

So I finally broke down and did it:

purchased a replacement for something that ran out in December:

Foundation.

$14

Now, my readers might think this post will be a rant about the ridiculousness of our society's expectations regarding women, such as having to wear makeup and shave our legs when men seem to think it's ok to go with scruffy faces for weeks on end blah blah blah. But it's not.

This post is about is how when I scurried home to check my bank account after this exorbitant purchase I saw that there was still money in there, even though I'd also gone to Starbucks this morning for the first time in probably a year.

See, I've been so broke for so long that the fact that I have a job now, which pays me money, hasn't really sunk in. I'm still in the mentality that $5 is too much to spend on anything. (Hence my horror and indecision about buying the $14 foundation at CVS.) After my Starbucks purchase this morning, I went through a spasm of extreme guilt: spending almost $3 on something so frivolous mixed with the enjoyment of a tall hot cocoa with whipped cream, mixed with the knowledge that because there is milk in this beverage, it will cause me to break out in 2-3 days... hence the need for the foundation. Because I've gone too long trying to go with no milk. It simply isn't fitting into my lifestyle! So screw it, I'll cover up with makeup instead!

---wait, where was I going with the Starbucks story?---

Oh, right... I have money now. Not a whole lot, in comparison to most people. Actually, most people probably couldn't manage to live on my salary. But for me, it's more money than I've had in a long time and so that's exciting for me. And dangerous.

I'm still living frugally; every dollar I spend is a big decision. The little cartoon angel and devil on my shoulder debate constantly when I'm at a store. When the devil wins and I spend money, that angel always whispers at me that those dollars could have gone toward my Europe fund, or my saving for student loan payments... but sometimes I really want salsa! Or cheesecake...

Usually though, the angel wins, merely because I don't seem to be able to remember that my job pays me money. This is a good thing.

I am the type of person who will spend money if there is money to be spent. I think it's genetic, because my Dad has this too. So whatever part of my brain is tricking me into believing I'm totally broke right now is my favorite body part at the moment. If I realized I have money, I wouldn't have it anymore. It's as simple as that.

That said,

Here's my tip for saving money:

Lie to yourself.

If I truly believe that I am as broke as I have been, that spending $2 now could mean I have to go without meat in my dinners for a week, then I am actually able to save money for the less fun, more important things such as rent and groceries and possibly even put something aside so that I can go to Scotland before I have babies.

So no matter how much money is in your bank account, tell yourself there's less than that in there. Believe that you only have $250 even if the numbers there say $500. (Though, for me, having $250 would be dangerous ground as well... yeah, THAT's how broke I've been)

I'm under the impression that my account balance is $25 at all times. Thank goodness.

Reading Review: Rhett Butler's People

2012-02-13T09:53:00.000-05:00

So this is new for me, but I am now going to review a book that I've recently been trying to read.

It's called "Rhett Butler's People" and it is written by Donald McCaig.

Now, as an avid "Gone With The Wind" fan, when this popped up in my "you might also enjoy" section on Amazon, I figured, "why not? I'll give it a try. Hopefully it won't suck. 'Scarlett' was alright, wasn't it?"

Now, I know that whether or not "Scarlett" by Alexandra Ripley

was actually good is a point of contention among some readers. Even within myself I'm torn between the fact that I love the character of Scarlett O'Hara and just want to read more about her, and the fact that "Gone With The Wind" ended where it needed to and that Scarlett would never EVER abandon Tara and go to Ireland (Spoiler Alert). Sorry; she just wouldn't. And that thing where she actually loves her child? I think not. But it was written well enough that my fourteen year old self was able to overlook these extreme flaws and still enjoy the read.

Now, back to "Rhett Butler's People." Rhett Butler is my Heathcliff, one might say. I read GWTW when I was 12 or 13 years old and I fell in love with the dashing debonair who was Mr. Rhett Butler. He was suave, he was charming, he was a little bit evil, he was a doting father, and to top it off he was a southern gentleman! Niiiiiiiiice.

I won't lie and say I had high hopes for this book. I had low hopes, extremely low hopes, because part of the wonder of Rhett Butler is the fact that he isn't the main character. It's like Johnny Depp in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies,

in the first one, he was not the main character and so I LOVED him (this came out just around the same time as my first reading of GTWT I believe... guess young me had a thing for the rapscallion) but in the second movie,

they tried to make Captain Jack Sparrow the main character, and the writers didn't quite do that all so well... he had to be a cutthroat pirate who focused mostly only on himself... That's difficult to achieve and still have him be a likeable character. In the second movie, Jack Sparrow is kind of complainy, he's lost the joviality that made his selfish traits overlookable. Disney would have been better off sticking with the first one... except not really because they made boatloads of $$ off the rest of the movies.

The moral of my Pirates story is that I didn't expect great things from "Rhett Butler's People," I did expect to be disappointed, even if only slightly, by Donald McCaig's portrayal of Rhett Butler. If I'd realized a man wrote the book before I bought it, I wouldn't have. No offense to men, you all write wonderful things in general, but Rhett Butler was created by a woman, he needed to be further written by a woman. A woman who loves him as I do. (That's a book people thing, loving characters and all. It's different than real love and nothing like those teens who literally think they are going to marry Edward Cullen. It's not the same.)

I did hope that perhaps I would be surprised. That perhaps I would begin reading and go, "yes! This is so accurately Rhett Butler! How cool that I get to read about his childhood!"

I did not.

Even with my extremely low hopes, I was disappointed.

I began reading the first line, "One hour before sunrise, twelve years before the war, a closed carriage hurried through the Carolina Low Country" (McCaig, 3) and I was instantly a bit thrown off. It seemed weird to mention twelve years before the war since the war hasn't happened yet in book world and none of the characters know about it. It seemed... journalistic almost. This feeling continued throughout the book as I realized the author was writing in a verrrrrry distant third person omniscient. Not first person on Rhett (which I'm ok with, getting sick of first person books) and not even close third person on Rhett. In the 80 pages I read (ok, so I skimmed the last 10), we get very little of Rhett's perspective at all. Instead we're focusing on characters I care nothing about; they not being in GWTW.

I really tried to push through, thinking "Maybe Donald McCaig is just a slow starter. It has to get better once Rhett gets a little older."

When Rhett's father forces him to work on their rice plantation with the field slaves, I almost stopped. No matter how much a man thought his son needed discipline, he just wouldn't do that in the antebellum south! I've learned a lot about the south before, during and after the Civil War (yeah, I paid attention in high school... when the subject matter interested me) and to a southern gentleman, the thought of his son doing slave's work would never enter into his head. Slaves were less than human, that's why they could do the most menial of tasks, they could work for hours and need no breaks or food or fun. (I mean in the mind of southerners back then.) A gentleman's son would never work with slaves. Just... no!

But I read the "about the author" and it said he was award winning and that the Margaret Mitchell estate chose him to write this book. So I pressed on to page 80 and then chose to watch the inside of the black subway tunnels on my commute home rather than read any more.

My final conclusion is that Donald McCaig was asked to write this book, given a deadline and he blew it off for a long time because he didn't want to write it or something. Then, they started bugging him and he whipped off a shitty first draft and passed it into the publisher who checked for spelling errors and nothing more, then sent it to the press. Because reading this is like reading one of my first drafts from my freshman year of college, before I got good at writing.

So this book is going to the used bookstore ASAP, and hopefully whoever picks it up has lower standards than me. Sorry Donald McCaig, but look at it this way: you've given me hope as a writer. If your book was published and you somehow managed to get awards, then hey, so can I.

Real World Unicorns

2012-02-01T23:54:00.000-05:00

So, as many of you may be aware, I am now a certified member of the real world. I've finished my schooling and am part of the working force. I have been this way for over a month now. Yes, I'll take your congratulations and shouts of joy etc. with a smile and a nod.

My first impressions of this thing we call the real world: well... let's just say I expected more unicorns.

...

Well of course it seems ridiculous when you read it like that!

What I mean is, I expected real life to be less "get up and go to work every day and spend your days off on the couch recuperating from your exhausting work week" and more parades and unicorns.

I've always said that I will not be one of those people whose life is their job. My job is meant to fund the fun-ness of my life and that is all. However, having a job is exhausting.

I don't know how people manage to work AND play all in the same day.

Let me explain what I'm doing for a living (it's wonderful).

I am a photographer (yay)

even better,

I am a newborn photographer.

take

pictures

newborn

babies

the

hospital.

Yeah, it's awesome. And so fulfilling, making the moms happy and soothing the tiny little crying babies. It's a glorious, wonderful, happy job and no sarcasm should be read into that statement. I'm being honest.

This is the company, if you were wondering.

But when I get home, I'm beat.

(I think I'm just not built for having a job... but that's another subject entirely.)

And even on my days off, I spend a lot more time in my pajamas washing the dishes than I would like to admit.

This frustrates me, since I have big plans, huge aspirations.

I am young and unattached and I don't have any babies of my own; now is the time for me to be going on adventures, dancing in parades, finding unicorns! (If you haven't got it by now, unicorns are a metaphor for all things thrilling).

I'm having a sudden de ja vu, as though I've written this thing about unicorns before...

Point is, I'm disappointed by the lack of unicorns in the real world, therefore I am struggling with the transition.

Perhaps the answer to my problem would be making my own unicorns... becoming a unicorn?

However the metaphor works, I want unicorns and I suppose I'll just have to provide them for myself rather than expecting the world to provide them for me.

Remember Bud?

2012-01-14T21:48:00.001-05:00

Heyall,

Does anybody recall that post from last year about Bud, the chain smoking, trucker hat wearing old man who sits around a convenience store all day? Well, from "Bud's Place" sprang a whole collection of short stories, centered in the small town of Ponby, Maine. It became my BFA thesis, the crowning piece of work of my college career. It's available for sale here for the low-low price of $12.95 (for a softcover). If you're an e-reader (ha, see what I did there?) you can also buy an e-book version of "Small Town" as my collection is called.

Please support my cause and purchase a book, I'm a rather poor college graduate and I'd love to know my stories are being read!

Preview available here

Photo Me Wonderful

2012-01-06T15:32:00.001-05:00

As a recent photography minor, and current professional photographer, I think it's safe to say I enjoy photography. Wow, could I have said photography more in that last sentence?

Anyway, here is a collection of photographs I've found online and liked over the years. I really wish I'd saved the information as to whose images they all are, but sadly I did not.

You'll notice a lot of these are wedding photographs; that's because I aspire towards being a wedding photographer, so I've used these as examples in my brain of the kind of work I would like to do.

There's no real purpose to this blog post, but I hope you enjoy at least a few of these pictures as much as I do.

Breakfast, Anyone?

2011-12-30T17:18:00.000-05:00

Muffin Tin Meals #7

Breakfast Egg Cups

Now, unless I decide to continue this little thing, this will be the last of my "Muffin Tin Meals."

Since I've pretty well covered dessert and even dinner, I figured I'd switch things up with a breakfast meal. Plus, that way I didn't have to change out of my jammies (points to anyone who believes this is actually what I look like when I first get up in the morning).

Now, personally, I don't particularly like breakfast, so I only made half a pan. But here it goes, the last of my muffin tin meals: breakfast egg cups.

First, I'll show you the ingredients:

I got the recipe idea here. Gosh, when you look over my links, you'd think I was a big Martha Stewart fan. It's really just a coincidence.

Anyway, I didn't have any turkey bacon on hand (Ally and I don't eat pork products) but I'm sure these would have been yummy that way, or with sausage if you're not picky about the meats you consume.

So, you preheat the oven to 375º

And grease your muffin cups. I used margarine, because that's what we had, but butter would work too.

Next, the bread. Now Martha says to roll out your bread and flatten it. I didn't do that. I also only used one circle's worth for each cup and didn't fill in the spaces with extra bread and it worked just fine.

A tin can was the perfect size for cutting out circles.

The first one was a bit of a challenge... See my great big muscles straining?

But I succeeded:

Cut the circles in half so they'll fit into the cups. Though, if your bread is softer than mine, you can probably just smoosh it in.

Here's what it looked like once I got all the bread in:

Next, I cracked 2 eggs right over the bread in one of the cups:

The other 4 eggs, I scrambled, to try out something different.

Into the scrambled egg cups, I added some frozen green beans and canned diced tomatoes.

Like so:

Then I grated some cheese. All we had was Parmesan, but I bet Jack would be good.

Sprinkle sprinkle sprinkle

I only left one without cheese because I like cheese on my eggs. The one without cheese I salted and pepper'd.

Into the oven they went for 20 minutes.

And then out they came!

They looked pretty good, I thought.

It said to remove them from the muffin tin immediately, so I did. It wasn't too much trouble. I wonder if they would have stuck had I left them in long enough to cool?

And here's the finished product!

They stored really well and even microwaved nicely. I just zapped them for 2 minutes and they were fine, not even rubbery. So there you have it! Muffin Tin Breakfast Egg Cups. Enjoy!

And if someone begs and pleads, I will continue the muffin tin thing. If not, then you'll have to go back to reading about my oh so interesting musings. Au Revoir!

Don't Make This Recipe If You're Allergic To Tree Nuts!

2011-12-20T18:18:00.001-05:00

Muffin Tin Meals #6

Nutella Holiday Brownies!

This post is a week late.

To those of you who checked this blog every day last week waiting for my next muffin tin adventure, I deeply apologize. (Ha)

It was finals week.

My last finals week ever.

So, to make up for it, this week I made a nifty little video instead of a normal 'ol blogpost.

Tips for when you make this recipe:

Christmas music playing in the background makes them taste better.

Singing Christmas songs while mixing also adds good flavor.

Dancing while waiting for the brownies to come out of the oven is a good idea.

Try not to spill your M&Ms.

Let the brownies cool a bit before removing them from the muffin tin

Ingredients:

Betty Crocker Brownie Mix

1/4 c. water

2/3 c. vegetable (or canola) oil

2 eggs

1/4 c. nutella (I got this proportion here)

Red and Green M&Ms (or similar)

Bake in 350º oven for 26 minutes (This time came from here)

I found that the brownies came out tasty, but denser than I'm used to. Also, the paper was very difficult to remove from the brownies once they cooled, which I found odd. I wonder if that's because nutella is so sticky. Either way, I thought these were delish and would suggest them to a friend in a heartbeat. I made these yesterday and now only have 4 left (out of a baker's dozen...) so that's how much my roomie and I enjoy them).

Hope you enjoyed!

(Footnote: If anybody actually reads this, could you please let me know somehow by leaving a comment or something. I don't want to sound desperate... but... You know. It's lame to write to nobody. And this is the internet. SOMEONE's got to read this... right?)

Run Run Run As Fast As You Can...

2011-12-06T15:03:00.000-05:00

Muffin Tin Meals #5

Snow-Capped Gingerbread "Muffins"!

Happy Holidays to you all!

I know there are a lot of people in the world who don't celebrate Christmas, but in my opinion, gingerbread is such a wonderfully wintery treat that even those who do Hanukkah or Kwanza or... solstice celebrations must enjoy it this time of year. It's just so spicy and sweet and comforting.

(And for me, Christmassy!)

The recipe I used came from an American Girl cookbook I've had since I was... 12? It's from Samantha, who I would link to, but she's been discontinued, I think (sad).

The recipe is pretty good though, even if it does say to have an adult take the gingerbread from the oven. :-)

So here are my ingredients:

There are a good amount there. I also used some cream of tartar (which I have a lot of if you remember the hi-hat cupcakes blog) for my "icing." But that's optional.

First things first:

I melted my butter in the microwave rather than dirty a saucepan, sorry Samantha, but you had servants and didn't do your own dishes.

Next came the egg.

Crack into a bowl and beat.

Now, the recipe calls for buttermilk, which I don't have. Usually I would make this with lemon juice mixed with milk. I had no lemon juice either. So, I used vinegar. It worked pretty well, but did curdle a tiny bit, I think because I was using milk with a low fat content (my roomie is semi-lactose intolerant so I don't get to drink whole milk anymore).

(I must say, I love the contrast between the white, blue and yellow in this photo. So bright!)

Next, I added my slightly cooled butter to the eggs and milk.

(Did you notice that I used a Christmas mug to melt the butter? Because I totally did.)

Then, the molasses. I will tell you a story about my molasses. I bought the bottle at Whole Foods a few days ago (I only shop at $$$ Whole Foods $$$ because it's closest to my apartment, I'm not wealthy by any means, so don't judge) and put it in the cupboard. When I opened the cap to make these, the protective paper thing was gone... which concerned me. Turns out my roomie had used a tiny amount of molasses the other day. So I didn't have to return the bottle, thank goodness.

That was a boring story.

Then, I mixed all my wet ingredients together and it looked like this:

Yum.

Time for dry ingredients!

Flour, Baking powder (brand new, of course :-P), Baking Soda, Salt, Ground Cloves, Ground Cinnamon, Sugar, Ground Ginger...

Of course, I didn't have enough ground ginger:

But luckily, my dear roomie made us buy a ginger root at the street market the other day (see! I save money by going to the street market!)

(me being contemplative of the ginger root)

So, I chopped up a bit of that and added it right in:

(I chopped it smaller than this, but just don't have a picture of that)

Here's what the dry ingredients looked like before I mixed them all together:

Then, I used my clean hands to blend these ingredients while I checked my American Girl Doll Recipe Book:

Whoops, the dry ingredients were supposed to go in the large mixing bowl. Good job reading the 12 year old instructions, 21 year old Caitlin...

Oh well. I'll just pour the dry ingredients into the wet ones (it worked just fine)

Blend gently so they don't get tough.

Then, taste of course :-)

Yup, they taste good and spicy.

Oh, here's what it looked like all blended together:

I finally got to use my baking cups, and was very excited, so I took a picture:

(haha, there's flower on my jeans)

So here's the baking cups in the muffin tin:

I then put the (very thick) batter into the cups, not filling them all the way and there was just enough for one tin. It's as though Samantha wanted me to make this in a muffin tin (though the recipe calls for a loaf pan or something).

Then, into the oven they went for 10 minutes at first (I didn't want them to burn) but it ended up taking 20.

Meanwhile, I attempted to make powdered sugar for the tops:

But soon gave up and used regular granulated instead. (Hence the snow-capped-ness of the title)

Muffins out of the oven:

(Yum)

Then, I added their snowcappings:

And here's the prettiest one:

We brought these to the Joy Street Christmas Party, where they were a big hit. (Now, when I say Joy Street Christmas Party, I mean my roomie and I went over to our roomie friends' apartment and ate goodies, drank a cocktail or two and watched Love Actually, which is apparently a Christmas movie that I still have barely seen due to all our conversation. But hey, it was still very fun and party-like and we ended up coming home with only 2 muffins left, so they were a big hit!)

So, a Merry Christmas to my faithful readers! (ha)

Definitely Not New York Style...

2011-12-01T11:48:00.000-05:00

Muffin Tin Meals #4

Mini, Deep-Dish Pizzas!

(Technically, I used this recipe... but I only really followed the directions at all for the baking time and temperature...)

First of all, can I say that I'm super impressed with myself for sticking with this for a whole month? (Also can I say, how the heck has it been a whole month!???!!!)
This week's "meal" I just threw together as a last-minute dinner sort of thing. My roomie and I are running out of groceries but we had pizza dough and a can of tomato sauce and some grated Romano cheese blend... so I went with it. (Sorry it's not Christmas themed, I promise the next one will be.)

So here it is, my mini deep-dish pizzas!

Ingredients:

(But You'll Also Want Toppings Too...)

First of all, I had to turn my tomato sauce into pizza sauce.

So for flavor, I used the onion and chopped it up into small pieces. (I'm too lazy to really dice it, but that would have been best)

Using a small amount of olive oil, I heated it on the stove in a sauce pan. Then, added my onions to saute them until they were transparent.

While the onions cooked, I chopped my garlic:

Half of it, I minced (Princess and the Frog anyone?) and added to my cooking onions.

The other half, I sliced into rounds to use as pizza topping because my Ally reallllllllly likes garlic (and so do I.)

This of course, made me think about pizza toppings and trying to make this a balanced meal (you know, with meat and vegetables...) so I scoured the fridge for anything that might work.

I found edamame and turkey salami.

And thought, hey! Why not?

(Sliced turkey salami)

That's the thing about working in miniature, everything such as toppings, have to be small.

So, finally my onions cooked through

(A little overcooked, whoops didn't stir them enough.)

So, it was time to add my sauce. We only had about 2/3 or 3/4 or 5/8 or something of a can left, which turned out to be just right after it simmered down.

Next, it was time to add the seasonings.

Oregano, salt, pepper, paprika, and a dash of tobasco (gosh, I really was channeling Princess and the Frog without even realizing it, wasn't I?)

I admit, I was rather nervous about wearing a white shirt to do all this red tomato cooking. This is me swirling the pot to blend all the spices. (Because for some reason I didn't want to use a spoon?)

So, while that simmered down for probably 20 minutes or so, I began greasing the muffin tin.

I used margarine in half and olive oil in half. It didn't really make a difference, but the margarine was slightly easier to coat with, it's up to you what you use.

Then, in went the dough. I've discovered I really like to get my hands messy when I cook, so I don't have pictures of me with dough all over my hands, but here's a tip: put olive oil on your hands before touching the sticky dough. It will help a LOT.

As you can see, I ended up with some dough leftover. My dough is in there in blobs, rather than nice little cups like that other blog, but it worked just fine. Don't fill the cups all the way though or you'll end up with a mess and all the toppings sliding off.

My sauce was done and the oven nearly ready at 450º (I'd originally set it to 350, but then changed it.)

So, I spooned the sauce onto the pizzas. I like a lot of sauce and at first I was worried I put on too much, but it turned out just fine in the end, so feel free to almost fill those cups with sauce, it'll work out.

Next: Cheese.

I'm sure mozzarella would work, I just didn't have any of that.

Then, toppings (feel free to use more traditional ones, though I quite liked the edamame and turkey salami):

What was nice about this was I could do different combos. Some are just edamame, some just cheese, some a blend of everything. It worked well, I think. If I'd had more topping options, it would have been really cool.

Then, into the oven for 12 minutes. Which, I didn't think would be long enough, but it was.

They look a little messy, but I let them sit for about 5-9 minutes before popping one out with a butter knife (came out verrry easily).

And here's the result!

A success. Lots of yummy crust, saucy, cheesy, warm, finger food. I ate 4 for dinner that night and then 4 for lunch the next day. Perhaps a bit excessive, but I very much enjoyed them. So yum. (Ally ate 4 for dinner as well.) Oh ho! And I got some Christmas in there with my Christmas plate!

Coming next week: Gingerbread muffins.

Let Us Give Thanks

2011-11-29T11:01:00.000-05:00

Muffin Tin Meals #3

Mini Pecan Pies!

It's a good thing I'm not getting paid to do this, since this post is about a week late...

I promise, I actually made the mini pies the day before Thanksgiving, but you know how it is when you're at home and on vacation... you don't want to spend the whole time on the computer (or maybe your family isn't as awesome as mine and you do... but I don't.)

So, this post is a little late. I apologize.

I have to say, one of the best things about being home is that all the ingredients are already there in abundance. I didn't have to grocery shop, I didn't have to spend any money and yet I still got 21 delicious mini pecan pies (of course, I didn't eat them all myself because I brought them to Thanksgiving dinner, but I probably ate around 5 and those 5 were FREE!)

Here are all the ingredients I used.

It's nice to add a tablespoon or so of bourbon too but there wasn't any at home, so I skipped that.

Now, the first step is to make your crust (or buy one if you're one of those people) I kid, I kid.

I am not allowed to disclose my mom's crust recipe, so I may have glossed over some of the steps...

Anyway.

Crust:

Flour and salt into the bowl.

Hand mixing is the best :-)

Cut in the fat using either two butter knives or a pastry cutter (we just got a pastry cutter, very exciting!)

Separate the dough in half:

Then, wrap your dough and pop it in the fridge to chill while you make your pecan inside mixture.

So the trick to really good pecan pie is toasting the pecans first.

(I've been using this recipe for 6 years now and just adapted it to mini pies by chopping the pecans and using both crust halves rather than just one.)

I toast mine in the microwave.

1 minute on high power, take them out and try to flip over all the pecans, then 1 more minute.

For mini pies, you'll want to chop half of your pecans into small pieces.

Then, set aside all the pecans and move on to the corn syrup/butter/sugar/egg mixture. (yum)

First, Corn syrup... 1/2 cup I think:

Then, 1 cup of brown sugar:

Next, 1/4 cup of melted butter:

After that, beat your 3 eggs:

And mix all of that together: (with vanilla)

This is a step not called for by the recipe but I like it: Add the chopped pecans to the liquid mixture and stir.

This coats the nuts so they don't blacken on top. (And also makes sure there will be plenty of pecans in each mini pie)

Then, it's time to roll out the dough. The shape overall doesn't matter, but make sure it's evenly thick all over.

This next step takes the loooooooooooooooooooooongest.

Cut out your mini pie crusts.
I tried a couple of round things then settled on this tupperware mug thing my mom uses for her lunches.

It made nice big circles.

Filling my muffin tin slowly but surely.

Another great thing about being home: Lukey dog is very willing to clean up any dropped pecans or dough, or sugar... not that I would ever make a mess while cooking...

Once my tins were finally full, I scooped in between 1/8 and 1/4 cup of filling into each one:

And I put the unchopped pecans on top so they'd be pretty.

Then, into the oven they went.

I wasn't sure how long to bake them for because when I looked online, it said about 10 minutes. It ended up being over an hour. But that's ok. I just checked them a lot.

Finally, the crust was brown and the knife came out (mostly) clean.

Yummy.

To get them out of the muffin tin worried me. I tried scooping them out with a butter knife... I wouldn't suggest that method.
Luckily, at home, there are Moms. Mine said we should bang the muffin tin (bottom) against the counter really hard to see if that helped them pop out. It did!

And they were a hit at Thanksgiving. Everybody wanted a mini pie because, really, who wouldn't?

Personally, I liked how self-contained they were.
But, it is a LOT less work to make one regular sized pie (all that crust rolling and cutting...)
Still. It was terrific and Thanksgiving-y.

I'll try to do another (Christmas themed!) post this week so as not to get behind. Happy Holidays, y'all!

Not Your Mama's Meatloaf

2011-11-15T14:55:00.000-05:00

Muffin Tin Meals #2

Meatloaf "cupcakes" with Mashed Potato "frosting"!

Look, guys! I actually followed through with week 2 of my Muffin Tin Meals venture. Are you proud of me? I am.

Also, and this was super exciting...

I got cupcake papers!

Not that I'm using them this time around... oh well.

So this week, I decided to make something a bit less than sweet. Ally and I are both trying to be healthier, so to go along with that, I decided not to make a dessert we couldn't resist. The leftovers are helping me with my promise to myself to eat all three meals every day (lunches!) as well. So, meatloaf was a GREAT idea if you ask me. Though, don't try to make it this way for a large crowd. I ate 3 "cupcakes" for my dinner last night, though I do enjoy larder portion sizes... Ally only had 2? I think?

OK, so here's the traditional ingredients photograph:

except you'll also need these things, which I forgot about until later:

I also wish I'd put in some chopped onion. But I didn't think of it until it was too late.

First things first. Take off your rings. Nobody wants old bits of beef in their jewelry.

Gosh, this makes me look married... I'm not!

Put the meat into a bowl (I used about a pound of 85% lean ground beef which filled the pan just perfectly).

Then, add all your ingredients except for potatoes, butter and milk. And ketchup. I haven't added that in yet either. Also, don't put the peas in yet.

So, basically. Put the meat, egg, oatmeal and cream of mushroom soup into a bowl.

So, meatloaf is really fun right? Because you get to squish your hands around in raw meat and egg. Personally, I prefer the meat to be still fridge cold when I have my hands in it–less reminder that it was once alive.

Hard to believe I was once a vegetarian, right?

At this point, once my hands were all gross, I remembered that I forgot my herbs and seasonings.

So I added them and squished it all together again.

I was super unorganized yesterday and washed my hands probably fifty times during this project. Because the next thing I did was go, "oh! Whoops, I forgot to grease the baking cups!"

So, I did.

This is also when I remembered how long it takes for my oven to preheat. So I turned it on as well.

Then, I put half of the meaty mixture into half of the cups.

Mmmmmm. Appetizing, right?

You may be wondering why I've divided my meaty mixture in half. Well, I'll tell you. Ally requested ketchupy meatloaf. I prefer non-ketchupy meatloaf (ketchupy is not a word).

So, to please my dear roomie...

I added ketchup to the rest of the meat.

Tee hee hee. Gruesomeness.

I then proceeded to fill the rest of the cups.

And I swirled ketchup atop the ketchupped ones so I wouldn't forget which were which.

Then, I slid them into the oven for 30 minutes to bake (they ended up needing another ten).

And I started making the "frosting."

Step 1: start water boiling

Step 2: get your potatoes

Yick. Mine were all covered with eyes from being kept in the cupboard too long.

Step 3: peel potatoes

I know those little red ones are made not to be peeled (made... that's not right... grown? Are these genetically bred to have an edible peel or did they come out of the ground like that way back when. Who ate the first potato anyway? They grow underground! I'm getting sidetracked) but I wanted a mostly smooth frosting, so I peeled half of them anyway.

Plus, without peeling, you don't get this lovely little pile perfect for composting (which I can't do where I live anyway but hey! Why do potato skins always make me think of compost?)

Step 4: boil potatoes until a fork can be easily stuck through them

Step 5: drain the water away.

Step 6: add milk and butter to the pan (oh, and the potatoes too)

Step 7: (this is important so you don't end up with mashed potato in your hair) mash the potatoes with something before beginning to whip them.

(That's me mashing them with the hand mixer, just after I spattered buttery, starchy milk in my hair... which is hidden by the photograph)

Step 8: whip your potatoes (back and forth)

And taste to make sure they taste alright.

They should be nice and smooth, like frosting.

Then, you wait for the meatloaves to come out of the oven.

Next step is to "frost" the "cupcakes." Sorry, I don't have any pictures of that. I used a spoon and slopped the potatoes on.

Next comes the decorating!

I used still-frozen peas for sprinkles.

And into the oven they went (I cranked it up to 450, but don't know if it ever got there. They were only in for about ten minutes).

What I wanted was a nice crispy top, but I think they would've needed much longer.

I was so excited to see how they came out that I scooped one out immediately using a large serving spoon.

It ended up like this:

And I was disappointed.

But I let the rest congeal a bit and used a smaller spoon to pull out the next one.

And it worked!

They were yummy good and Ally gave her seal of approval as well.

They store nicely too!

Go Big or Go Home

2011-11-08T11:50:00.001-05:00

Muffin Tin Meals #1

Hi-Hat Cupcakes!

So, here's me, beginning my blogging series about using my newly purchased muffin tin. What's the very first thing I decide to make? Is it muffins? No, of course not. Too simple. Is it cupcakes (because I've been wanting to make cupcakes forever)... well, sort of.

No, what I decide to make first are Hi-Hat cupcakes. You may have heard of these, I hadn't until I joined Pinterest (which, by the way, is very addicting in an awesome way and sparks all kind of crafty desires I can't afford) but basically, they're mounds of frosting dipped in chocolate atop a cupcake.

Everyone online who made them said they were leery of attempting them and waited a long time before doing it. For some reason, I dismissed all that hype as not pertaining to me and decided to tackle them first...

I won't say they weren't a success. I did manage to get at least one that looked pretty much how they're supposed to look:

But boy should I have listened to the internet bloggers!

Also, these are REALLLLLLYYYY sweet. The frosting is basically a home-made marshmallow Fluff, so if you aren't into super sweetness (like myself) these are probably not the cupcake for you.

But, I enjoyed the challenge and my roommate hates me because she loves these cupcakes so much and since I don't, I'm not really helping to consume them...

Now, here's my journey!

The recipe I used is from Martha Stewart.com. I only used the frosting and chocolate parts of her recipe, choosing to go the ol' Betty Crocker cake mix route, since she's never steered me wrong. Below, is an image of my ingredients:

I had to buy a whole thing of Cream of Tartar and used only 1/4 tsp. of it. Hence this face:

So, the first thing I did, of course, was make the cupcakes following package directions.

Then, I ran into a liiittttlllleee problem... I didn't buy cupcake papers. Note to self: BUY SOME!

So, I made do with tinfoil, which added a whole lot of extra time and effort to this already challenging recipe.

I did half shiny side up and half not-as-shiny-side up, just to see which works better. I now have no idea which were which. Any notes on that (non-readers)? Does it matter which side touches the food, shiny or not?

So, then I filled the cups

And when I say "filled" I mean filled. The box suggested 2/3 full, and so do I, for this recipe. Usually, I like a larger surface area on top to work with but not with hi-hats. So hold back and bake two pans. Martha's recipe only makes 12 hi-hats so either double it, do it twice or have 12 regular ol' cupcakes. But don't do what I did. They were much too big and difficult to work with, especially since they wouldn't fit inside a tall cup (for easier dipping).

Then, I put my cupcakes in the oven!

And waited and waited and waited the whole 20 minutes it takes for them to bake.

I know you're not supposed to peek, but I did.

Finally, they were done!

And super yellow too!

So, I put them on a plate

and into the fridge to cool faster.

While they cooled, I began making the "frosting." (Can you tell I'm disappointed with it?) I suppose if I'd put in almond extract like Martha suggests in her recipe, they might have seemed a bit more gourmet and a bit less Fluff-like, but I didn't have any and am too poor to go buying almond extract. Play around with flavors though, it might make these more interesting.

Step 1: Sugar in a bowl. Note the water simmering in the pan on the stove (blocking your view of the bowl)

Step 2: Separate your eggs (sorry this picture is blurry, my hands were a bit occupado)

Step 3: Mix the sugar, water, vanilla and egg whites with a hand blender until frothy.

I hadn't used this mixer before and its speed was alarming.

Step 4: put the bowl over the simmering water. This would work better with a larger, metal bowl. Unfortunately, we don't have one of those, so I made do with my Pyrex. Don't try this with regular old glass, I don't think.

Beat this until it forms stiff peaks, which is supposed to take 12 minutes. Mine never formed super stiff peaks and I don't have a candy thermometer, so I don't know if it reached 160º or not. Perhaps this was the problem with my end result of floppy cupcakes.

I did, however, end up making a colossal mess with the mixer and liquid marshmallow...

But then, I put the frosting into a piping bag or a plastic baggie (I used a couple of plastic baggies) and piped it onto the cupcakes in big round swirls.

I didn't have quite enough icing for all 12 cupcakes; this is one place where smaller cupcakes would have been better.

So, one came out like this:

And one didn't get any marshmallow at all.

Then, back into the fridge with these guys to chill and hopefully harden up.

While those cooled down a bit, I cleaned the marshmallow off every surface in my kitchen.

After that, I melted the chocolate chips with 3 TBS of canola oil in the microwave on low power for short bursts (30 seconds) mixing in between until it was nice and smooth and delicious looking.

Then, came the time to start dipping the cupcakes. I started with the sad, non piled up one for a practice run.

And it seemed to work!

So I went again.

Now, the recipe says to wait awhile before dipping because if the chocolate is too hot, it will melt the marshmallow.

THIS IS TRUE

But, for me, I didn't find it was much better even with cooler chocolate. My marshmallow melted no matter what.

I think it just wasn't solid enough.

Too much marshmallow on the cupcakes turned into this:

A few, with less of a tall swirl atop, worked ok...

So, I guess it's really important the marshmallow reaches that 160º point, or maybe the chocolate was consistently too warm. Anyway, I had a good collection at the end of not-super-pretty hi-hat cupcakes. Trust me, you'll find much nicer looking ones out there on the internet.

I put what I had into the fridge to harden

And poured some milk into the rest of the melted chocolate to make myself some hot cocoa I didn't really want. But hey, I can't waste chocolate!

Note: you'll be drinking a lot of canola oil if you do this. It may make your throat hurt. Take a benadryl, you'll be fine.

While I waited, I washed the dishes

And finally, the cupcakes were done! I cut one in half to see how it looked inside (and also, I'd consumed so much sweetness at this point, I could really only handle half).

Voila!

Would I make these again? Probably not. Was it a worthwhile challenge? Definitely.

New Project

2011-11-07T09:35:00.002-05:00

So, I realize I've been severely lacking in my blogging this year (and when I say year, I mean since September). This is partially due to the fact that I know nobody actually reads my blog, but as a writer, I know I should not let the fact that I have no readers discourage me from writing. It's like, the first rule they teach at writer's school. And as much as that sounds like a joke, I actually go to writer's school and that is actually the first thing they teach.

So, with that out of the way...

My new project!

I have decided, with the purchase of a new muffin tin:

that I am going to make as many different things using this pan as possible before 2012.

They may be simple muffins, or cupcakes (!). But I'd like to attempt to branch out and create any number of things, such as meatloaf or pizza, or... soup.

Part of me wants to go all out and say every night I'll be cooking something in the muffin tin, but I am still in college and I just know my roommate would get sick of that, and I would get sick of washing the muffin tin every. single. day.

So, let's say that at least once a week (perhaps more) I will be using the muffin tin until 2012 and chronicling it on here.

It's only 2 months. I believe I can do this.

Crafty

2011-09-11T16:37:00.000-04:00

We finally have internet in our apartment, so I can finally put up this post.

So, as you may know (or not), I love to scrapbook. I'm a little... well, a whole year, behind at this point, but I'm sure I'll catch up... someday.

But I finished my scrapbook for the second semester of my sophomore year (I'm now a senior... whoops) this summer. What's really exciting to me is that I built the book! This one is awesome because I created the whole thing from scratch (where does that phrase come from anyway? From "scratch"... what is "scratch? Anyway, I digress...)

I documented the progress of my book so I could show it to you. Here it is!!

I had some pages that I'd removed from an older scrapbook I planned to use for this one, so I measured those and then cut out a some cardboard from an old box of the right size.

Then, I took some fabric from a pillowcase I never use and cut that to the appropriate size.

Then, I sewed!

(I never sew, so this was super thrilling and made me feel old-fashioned)

The cover then looked like this:

I decided it was time to put the letters on. So, I gathered my fabric,

measured out the letters

and finally found a use for my hair straightener.

Then, I sewed the letters onto the front.

Let me tell you, I should have added the letters before inserting the cardboard.

...Live and learn!

So, then it was time to sew on the ribbon trim

(because I can't measure, so the cardboard was a little too small...)

Meanwhile, I was filling the pages with photo memories

and fun papers.

Once the pages were done, I bound them together using thread.

And it started to look like a book!

I poked holes in the cover pieces so that I could bind them to the pages

and I painted modge-podge around the holes so they wouldn't fray.

I used pink ribbon to tie the covers to the bound pages.

From our button collection, I selected one for the front.

I sewed it on, which compared to sewing on all those letters was rather easy.

On the back, I sewed two pink ribbons which will reach the front to tie around the button.

And here's the final product!

I'm very proud of it because I created it entirely myself. And though this post goes by fast, this project took me all summer. Now, I just need to get going on the rest of my scrapbooks.

It's Getting to be that Time of Year Again!

2011-08-23T21:02:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness. Today felt almost like Fall. Actually, it felt like late August, which is what it is.

I, therefore, spent my day tidying and organizing my room.

This is of course in preparation for the packing that soon will become my priority.

I'm getting psyched to be back in the city and living with my dear friend Ally in our tiny apartment.

I'm not so psyched that after 4 months I'll be out in the real world with millions of dollars worth of student loans to pay back... ok perhaps that's an exaggeration, but it feels that way!

But I won't think about that now.

I just am totally feeling the end of summer creeping up.

I'm finding the motivation now to accomplish all the things I set out for myself back in May. You know, all the things I went without doing because it was too hot out?

Well, now I am all about those things (think scrapbooking and writing and painting dishes and cleaning out my closet).

Fall is my favorite. So that's great. I have had a glorious summer though, so I'll be sad to see that end, though I am excited about what this year will bring!

Rustic Lady

2011-08-21T16:24:00.000-04:00

So, I am feeling wicked rugged.

First of all, I went camping this weekend. I KNOW right?

Me?

Camping?

Yes.

More shocking though...

I enjoyed it!

I. had. fun. sleeping. on. the. ground.

(well, I suppose the fun parts weren't the sleeping but rather the fire and friends and lake and waking up with sand between my teeth etc.)

So, there's that.

Then, today I put on my Carhartts and a pair of work gloves and stacked half a cord of wood. I know that isn't a whole lot, but I did it. And again, I enjoyed it!

I must be going crazy.

But I reek of human, I have dirt under my fingernails, bug-bites all over my legs and leaves in my hair and I am happy.

This is a whole different side of me.

Unfortunately, I took photos with my film camera so I can't post any of those. Just imagine a tent, a lake, a fire, some sleeping bags, hotdogs and 4 friends, one of whom is me.

2011-08-02T18:24:00.000-04:00

What joy it is to be happy.

That seemed redundant, didn't it?

Ah, well.

But what I mean is that it's brilliantly wonderful to be content with where one's life is, what one is doing, where one is headed. Yes, I'm speaking in the formal third person, but come on reader– you know it's me.

Yes, I'm content right now. And the strangest thing is that it's because I'm doing something different.

I've always had a sense of what I believed I wanted and trust me, it was about as conventional as the day is long. I had it all planned out. I knew what my life would look like. And now, now that things are changing for me and I'm realizing I don't HAVE to do conventional, the way I used to imagine my life going seems so damn boring!

I don't need to be married by the time I'm 25, with a baby on the way at 28. Heck, I don't need to be married at all! (Probably, I will be someday, but if I end up an old maid, I'll be ok with that I think). I can do exciting things with my life and I'm only just realizing this now. I am 21 years old and for too long I've acted like I was 45 with my life path set in front of me. I now realize though, I can alter that path, I can stray from it. They weren't making things up when they said that I can do anything. For the first time, I truly believe it!

I don't mean that I want to go off to Africa and wade through malarial jungles in order to feed starving orphans (though how I wish that I did want to do that sort of thing) but I can travel. I can explore. I can try out a number of careers and meet interesting people and wait awhile to settle down. I can!

I don't know, maybe to some of you (who am I addressing when I say that????), this post seems weird because you've already figured these things out. But for me, it's an epiphany. I guess I needed to get to know some people who don't do things the "conventional" way in order to realize that I don't necessarily have to either. It's very freeing, honestly.

Now I'm hesitant to actually post this to the internet. It's very personal, but I think I will, only so that if someone else feels stuck in a lifestyle and ends up reading this, it could remind them that life can be full of anything. (as if I actually had people who read this) We have choice. It's awesome.

Writer's Block???

2011-07-12T15:42:00.000-04:00

I've found, lately, that I've been having trouble writing.

I love writing.

But I'm just not motivated to do it...

Maybe I don't like the story I'm working on... I certainly don't know where it's going.

Maybe my room is just too messy.

Maybe it's too hot outside.

Maybe this cold is blocking more than just my sinuses.

Maybe I'm too excited by what's happening in real life.

You know what they say about writing the best stuff when you're unhappy...

Maybe I'm not meant to be a writer

No. I'm sure that's not it.

Maybe I'm distracted.

Maybe I'm just lazy.

Sense of Humor

2011-07-06T10:19:00.000-04:00

It's odd, isn't it, that different people find different people funny.

I mean, personally, I am not a big fan of what I've called "stupid humor" which can be defined with movies like

The Hangover

Jackass

Blades of Glory

(I mean no disrespect to any of these movies, the actors therein, or anybody who enjoys this sort of humor)

Maybe to say "stupid funny" is mean, or could be construed as mean. What I am really saying with "stupid funny" is that the humor is more obvious. It may be forced, but it's obviously there. The actors in the movie are acting stupid in order to entertain. The only purpose is to make viewers laugh. It's the humor of the masses. (Remember, I'm using the movies as a metaphor for a certain type of humor.)

The kind of humor I find amusing is more... subtle, I suppose?
I prefer sarcasm, witticisms, veiled humor.

I enjoy

Cake Wrecks


http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

communitychannel


http://www.youtube.com/user/communitychannel

(Remember, it's a metaphor.) I suppose the purpose of these is also mainly to make people laugh, but it's done in a different way. Now, I'm not saying the kind of humor I prefer is in any way better than the more obvious humor I discussed above. Of course, I'm partial to it, so if there is a biased tone in this blog entry, well, that's why.

I'm just so interested in the fact that so many people can find so amusing something I find so unappealing (and here we're speaking in extremes).

It does make sense that different personalities would be amused by different things, that's human nature, right? What's beautiful to one may be hideous to another (think of city skylines).

Ah, metaphor.

Youtube Oddities

2011-07-01T09:27:00.000-04:00

Heyall!

So, I've been putting up weekly videos (as I mentioned in my last post) (I really dislike that I'm doing 2 Youtube themed blog posts in a row, but hey...) this summer on my Youtube page.

It's interesting. I have 106 subscribers (not to brag or anything).

My first "weekly video" of the summer: Bruno Mars's "The Lazy Song", got 38 views. In 3 weeks. Where are the other 68 subscribers? (yeah, I used a calculator to figure that out)

The next video, which I recorded with my (not so) little brother: "Scarborough Fair" by Simon and Garfunkel, got a grand total of 13 views so far. I know one of those is from my Dad. :-P

And the one I uploaded yesterday has somehow gotten 22, no 26 (I swear, a second ago it was 22) views, so it must be winning. But I get that, who doesn't love Nicki Minaj? (me)

But seriously, where are the rest of my subscribers? 106 people are being notified every time I upload a video. Not all of them are watching.

OK, I'll take the blame for that. I abandoned my Youtube page for pretty much an entire year as I sorted out my life, attended classes, staved off depression, and commuted an hour to school every day.

It's fair, I abandoned them, they abandoned me.

But the consistent 4 dislikes on every video I've posted since the end of Christmas season...

What's up with that?

Literally, every single video since "Where Are You Christmas" has had 4 dislikes. (Where Are You Christmas only had 3)

This leads me to believe (Sherlock Holmes that I am) that the same 4 people are disliking all my videos. This further leads me to believe that these 4 people are subscribers of mine.

If you dislike my videos, why not unsubscribe???

Of course, then I would have less views...

Youtube

2011-06-16T16:21:00.000-04:00

So for the summer I have made the resolution to upload 1 Youtube video per week to my Youtube channel. Don't worry, I won't post every video here, but I will post the link to my channel so that if you feel so inclined, you can go watch me sing and dance around like a fool once a week. :-)

Here's the video I posted today, just to get you all intrigued.

The website for my channel is: www.youtube.com/caitiebaby90

Subscribing is nice, but I'm not going to be one of those annoying people who's always like "Subscribe to my channel if you like my videos." Those people annoy me, and I'm less likely to subscribe if they say that. So I'm not going to. :-D

Summer Classes

2011-05-22T13:45:00.000-04:00

Hello internet!

(and by "internet" I mean Chelsea and Dan because those are the only two people who actually read this blog... maybe)

I've begun my summer classes and they're going really well.
In my writing class my professor is super impressed with my work, which makes me feel good about myself.

In my drawing class, I get to hang out with Julie while we sketch plants and trees and windows. What could be better?

So all in all, I'm having a good experience.

This is good considering how busy I was with my summer class last year. I was working 12 hours a day on that one. These two are MUCH better.

Actually though, I'm supposed to be doing my homework right now. I'm revising a short story that I'm not in love with. I prefer to write 30 page long short stories. This one has to be 3-5...

You can do the math and see the issues I'm having.

But I'll stop procrastinating now.

I'm Not Going to be Homeless!

2011-05-14T22:30:00.000-04:00

Emerson gave me my money back.

And my dear friend Ally G, who I BARELY got to see at all this year because we were both extremely busy and I lived an hour away from campus and she lived off campus too, might be getting a job in the city. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO, if that happens, we are going to live together next year!

I'm very excited, if you couldn't tell from all my capital letters and exclamation marks.

:-D

Oh Shoot

2011-05-10T10:18:00.000-04:00

So my grandparents are selling their house. This means I need to find somewhere else to live next semester, my LAST semester.

So I submitted a housing deposit yesterday right after I emailed the housing people at school asking them if I could be added to the waitlist.

Apparently, my school is being stupid this year, and there is NO room for housing.

I won't be able to get it.

So I ask for my deposit back, right?

And they say the deadline to get my deposit back has passed.

Ummmmm. I only submitted it yesterday!

And if they had gotten back to me when I first emailed them two weeks ago, I wouldn't have submitted the deposit in the first place!

It's $300 and I have to pay for 2 summer classes like, now.

I need it back.

So that's one stress.

Plus, where the heck am I going to live next year?

Goodness gracious me. It's only one little semester.

4 little months.

But I don't think being homeless will help me write my senior creative thesis very well...

though it might give me some useful material.

Home Again Jiggety Jig

2011-05-09T13:46:00.000-04:00

Here I am, home sweet home.

My junior year of college is over and I have 7 lovely days until my summer classes start.

I'm keeping busy. Organizing, unpacking etc.

I'm aware of the non-thrilling-ness of this post, but I really needed a break from going through my drawers.

Lukey Dog

is barking because the wind is blowing.

And also because I'm typing... and those are the most frightening sounds in the world.

Silly thing.

Until I have something more exciting to say...

The Concluding Paragraph Of My Essay (LOLZ)

2011-05-01T20:07:00.002-04:00

What Ursa and Hartman should attempt to build their identity on is not the subject of this paper, so I will not discuss it; that’s the work of a psychologist, not a literary analyst. But the point is that Ursa and Hartman, in their attempts to base their identities on the past, just end up unhappy. It’s when Ursa gives herself up to Blues singing and then makes up with Mutt that they get happy endings. And Hartman is happy but skeptical when the Gwolu man calls her sister, but by this point she’s over the fact that she’s not kin to Africans, not really. So she builds her identity off of searching for an identity. THAT becomes her identity. Maybe for Ursa too. The search for identity becomes both of their identities; because these are works of literature, this is alright... except for Hartman because her story is not a work of fiction it’s her real life and therefore it’s sad that she’s trying to identify with searching for identity... but again, that’s the work of a psychologist. Not me.

Doing the Dishes

2011-05-01T10:39:00.000-04:00

I've been working on painting a set of dishes since winter break.

But what with school and... well, school, I haven't been able to finish.

Here are three of the dishes that I have actually completed at this point.

I've got 4 more half started and ideas for the rest...

But here are the ones that are done:

This one is a salad sized plate. All hand painted by yours truly.

The next one is larger:

I'm particularly proud of this one, though unfortunately some of the detail work is lost in the photo.

Now for a mug shot or two:

Yeah, I'll brag about this one. I'm proud of it. Very proud.

Proud enough to show you another angle:

Like the gold trim on the Betta fish?

And another:

I've painted a LOT of mugs (Christmas this year...) but I think this is one of my best.

Now for a final shot to show that these are not only beautiful, but practical too:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

5x7 Folded Card

2011-04-21T14:00:00.001-04:00

Pretty And Pink Mother's Day 5x7 folded card

Shutterfly has personalized Mother's Day cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

:-P

2011-04-18T14:06:00.000-04:00

I've managed to stave off having a cold all winter. But now it's spring, and like everyone else, I caught one. Shoot.

I think it's because I've stopped wearing gloves. All winter, I was protected from the many various germs provided on public transportation. But now, it's too warm to wear gloves and not look like a freak, so I have to actually touch the slimy pole on the T so I don't fall down etc. And also the elevator buttons. I try to be careful and use hand sanitizer before I eat etc. But I guess one germ got past.

So now my supposed-to-be-fun-long-weekend is not as fun, and I'm in bed coughing.

Right Now

2011-04-14T21:55:00.000-04:00

My little brother is in Paris.

My Mom and Dad are motorcycling the California coastline.

And I am at school.

I don't envy them; I mean I don't wish they didn't get to experience those things. I wish I could too... but that would totally change the dynamics of their trips, and I wouldn't want to do that either.

I'm feeling just a little bit of wanderlust.

I'm really excited for them though.

I guess this is what living vicariously through someone else is like. I don't know that I've ever done that before. I was always the one going on adventures.

I don't envy them their trips. And this is 100% honest because I'm sure my day for traveling Europe or California or South America or Russia will come eventually.

It's just sort of weird to be the one left behind.

Wouldn't It Be Nice

2011-04-05T13:45:00.000-04:00

if we were older...

no wait. That's not what I meant!

Seriously, though. Wouldn't It Be Nice if I didn't have to do the boring homework such as 2 page response papers due every week? And Wouldn't It Be Nice if I'd done mine last week so that I didn't have to do two this week? And Wouldn't It Be Nice if I could just do something creative instead like make a Youtube video or paint some dishes? Wouldn't It Be Nice if all my homework was just writing stories? Wouldn't It Be Nice if I could go home today rather than the day after tomorrow? Wouldn't It Be Nice if it weren't raining right now? Wouldn't It Be Nice if food was free and sweets weren't bad for you? Wouldn't It Be Nice if I could stop complaining and actually appreciate all the good things I have?

I think I will.

Mute

2011-04-02T14:19:00.002-04:00

What would it be like, I wonder, to not talk for 24 hours?

Happy April!

2011-04-01T09:58:00.000-04:00

Sneak Peek

2011-03-28T17:23:00.000-04:00

Here's the first 2 pages of my next short story: Duplex

(Please don't steal this)
Keep in mind, this is a first draft and is therefore likely to change.

Duplex

    I live in this house. There’s two apartments in it. It’s gray. Out front, there are two doors and two sets of front steps. My door is on the left, there’s a fancy letter A made out of metal tacked to the front. I don’t use the other door because it leads to the other apartment. Until last year, I didn’t even know what the inside of the other apartment looked like. It didn’t matter. When you go in my door, you’re looking down a hallway and at the end of the hallway is the laundry closet. It’s a big closet and we always keep the door to it open because it’s one of those folding, slidy doors and it always sticks. When you first come into my front door though, to your left is the dinner table and then down the hall a little way is the kitchen, but there’s not a wall between the kitchen and the hallway; Mom says that means the kitchen always has to be clean. The dinner table is sort of in the kitchen, because it’s small. But there’s a counter in between, so not really. Down the hall, after the kitchen is the downstairs bathroom and across from that, the stairs lead upstairs. My room is upstairs, Mom says it’s above the kitchen. Mom and Dad’s room is upstairs too. But their room is at the very top of the stairs, above the living room. The living room is what’s on your right when you first come into my house. It’s pretty big. It’s bigger than the kitchen but not as long because the stairs are there behind it.
    Last year, I noticed that the living room wall is made of glass.
    I was playing with my action figures under the table because I was only almost nine then and I wasn’t too big to play with action figures yet. Batman was winning the fight against Spiderman. Mom wouldn’t buy me any bad guys so Spiderman was the bad guy that time. I remember I was lying on my tummy and Batman was about to kill Spiderman by jumping on him and I looked up and saw right through the living room wall into the other apartment.
    For a second I just stared and then I skooched out from under the coffee table being careful not to bonk my head on the sharp corners that hang down underneath. I stood looking through the wall and put my hands up. It was glass alright. There was a wall, not just air. I knew it was glass because sometimes I put my hands against my windows to leave steam handprints and Mom always caught me and yelled at me for smudging up the glass. When I leaned my face against the glass wall, my breath made a little steam cloud in front of me. I drew a smiley face in it then ran upstairs as fast as I could to see if the same wall upstairs in Mom and Dad’s room was made out of glass too.
    It wasn’t. There were a few pictures hanging on the boring tan paint I hated, so I ran back downstairs to see if the living room wall was still made of glass.
    “Nathaniel! Don’t run in the house!” Mom said when I almost knocked over the folded stack of laundry at the bottom of the stairs. She was doing something with the washing machine. Probably cleaning it.
    I threw Spiderman onto the couch when I got back to the living room and saw the wall was still glass. I stared through it at the other living room. It wasn’t painted tan like ours, but had pink and white striped wallpaper with little flowers on it! Their furniture was set up all different from ours: the had two couches! One was in the same place as ours: facing the window and the TV, but they didn’t have a TV, instead they had another couch! Also, their couches looked way comfier than ours. Our couch was made out of wicker and gray cushions and when you sat on it, it made noises like it wanted to fall apart. Playing on it wasn’t even an option. But their couches looked really squishy and were this pinkish, orangeish color. There weren’t any lights on on the other side of the glass wall, so I couldn’t really see beyond the living room, but I guessed their apartment was set up the same as ours, just backwards.
    “Mom, look,” I said when she came into the living room armed with a rag and spray.
    “Don’t run your hands all over the walls, Nathaniel,” she said, “you’ll leave marks.”
    Then she sprayed the glass where my hands had smudged and rubbed my fingerprints off. After that, she sprayed and scrubbed the other two walls in the room and the coffee table and the TV.

Cooking!

2011-03-25T12:49:00.003-04:00

Grandad and Karen are out of town, sunning themselves on the island of Vieques, so that means I've got the house to myself, and more importantly the Kitchen!

So last night, I decided I would actually cook something, rather than being "college-student-me" and heating something up in the microwave.
I invited Dan over for dinner, because let's face it, it's no fun to cook for just yourself.

Since he is a vegetarian, I went with a no-meat meal.

I started off marinading sliced Portabello Mushrooms in teriyaki, soy-sauce, ginger, garlic and maple syrup for about 20 minutes.

Then, I started making the Coconut Rice.

Dan was a little wary of the appearance of the coconut milk I used:

But once I mixed the solids in with the liquids, he thought it looked OK.

Dan helped out by slicing the Beet Greens and rinsing them.

(The beets themselves will be part of my dinner tonight)

While the Beet Greens were steaming in the microwave, I sautéed the marinaded Mushrooms in butter.

Then, everything was done...

Except the Rice.

Somehow, I mis-timed everything and the rice was nowhere near being done when the rest of the food was. It was very frustrating.

Eventually, I deemed the rice done enough to eat, though there were still some crunchy bits.

Here's the final result:

Not bad eh?

It was quite delicious as well. We both decided I should have cooked more Mushrooms and Greens.

Especially considering how much Rice was leftover!

So, I guess we've established I am not such a terrific judge of Rice.

Overall though, it was a fun and delicious experience.

Re-Design

2011-03-24T12:42:00.000-04:00

I've re-designed my page, as you can obviously tell. I don't know. For some reason, I'm not sure yet if I like it...

You know what's really amazing?

2011-03-22T17:22:00.001-04:00

I may be fighting off a cold right now.

I'm not sure

but I'm being super careful, just in case.

You know the drill...

Getting lots of sleep,

Taking my vitamins,

Drinking lots of fluids.

Let's look closer at this cup of tea.

See that tea ball there?

Inside that tea ball is chamomile tea, grown in my Mumma's garden this summer.

In July, that cup of tea looked like this:

That AMAZES me.

And you know what else?

I can taste summer in this tea.

Chamomile tea you buy in the store has got NOTHING on my tea.

If I am getting sick *cross your fingers I'm not* this tea is going to make me get better.

I can taste the healthiness in it, the sun, the soil.

When I tasted fresh chamomile for the first time this summer, I thought it was really strong. It didn't taste like the chamomile tea I was used to. Now, I don't even bother with the stuff from the store.

My tea tastes real.

Growing Up

2011-03-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

I'm planning on graduating a semester early. This means that after this semester ends on May 5, I'll have 2 summer classes and only one more semester between me and the real world. I'm terrified.

If college weren't so expensive, I'd stay forever. I know how to do school. I understand the process, the routine. Adulthood is supposed to be far away, vague, distant, something you imagine or daydream about. It's not supposed to be so near. Being a grown-up is on the horizon, I can see it. And it's moving closer every single day.

I think this is why I keep wanting to go home. If I'm at home, the real world can't get to me. I can revert back to how I've lived my entire life and not have to deal with the fact that soon I won't be able to.

(That's what inspired this video)

I've imagined being a grown-up since I was itty bitty. Whenever I played imaginary games, I was always an adult. Why would I have chosen to be a child? I was a child!

I guess that's why I'm so surprised that adulthood is almost upon me: it's always remained in the imaginary realm along with mermaids and pirates. The fact that growing up is imposing itself on my reality seems wrong and impossible.

Sure, I can say I'll do this or that "when I grow up" but I guess I never truly believed I actually would.

Some Days

2011-03-17T12:53:00.000-04:00

Some Days you just feel positive.

Glad that you chose to get out of bed in the morning.

I did not think today was going to be one of those days, but I was wrong.

It's a refreshing change from the gloominess that has pervaded my existence recently.

I don't know if it's just that the sun is shining and the breeze is friendly or if it's because St. Patrick has blessed all generations of Irish today, but I'm feeling happy right now.

I just had a meeting with my professor (W.W.) about my midterm paper. Everyone in the class is required to revise, but she told me mine is very solid. Minimal work is needed. (Yay!)

But it was more than that which helped lift my mood off the curb.

She and I had a whole conversation about what classes I'm taking, the short story I'm working on (more on that in a different entry), my photo project, how I'm graduating a semester early. Even skiing (a little bit)! I don't know why, but I came away from that meeting with a really good feeling. My professor must just be one of those people. The kind of woman who leaves you with a positive feeling after a conversation, even if you don't know her very well. My friend Sally is the same way, so is Chelsea.

I wonder if I am?

That's going to be a goal of mine: to leave people with a feeling of happiness even if all we exchange is a "hello" or a smile.

Whatever the reason for my uplifted spirits today, I am thankful for them. Thanks W.W. for making me smile after our meeting. Thank you St. Patrick for reminding me of my heritage (even if it's in an odd, commercialized way). Thanks Sun for shining and thank you Breeze for blowing from the north.

Mice Are Not Nice!

2011-03-15T18:13:00.000-04:00

Not in the library, not anywhere!

OK, so that first line might seem a little odd to anyone who doesn't go to my school. Let me explain:

There's a sign up in the library on campus that reads "Mice Are Nice...but not in the Library. Please throw away your trash."

Ummmmmmmmm.......

Mice are Nice?????

Where did this lunacy come from?

Mice are never nice.

I'm sorry, no way José.

And for some horrifying reason, I can hear them in the walls again.

(Horrifying because if I can hear them, that means they're back)

I've got earplugs so that I can sleep at night.

I've got 2 of those plug-in mouse repeller thingies.

I'm TERRIFIED of mice.

Humongous, legitimate, phobia afraid.

Not to mention, they're grody.

Yeah. There's not really a point to this post... just venting my fears.

Maybe the mousies will read this and decide to go terrorize somebody else's basement... a basement where nobody is living.

That would be nice.

Ice Cream Skiing

2011-03-08T10:01:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday I went skiing.

Big surprise right? I'm home and further, Dad is.

What's more, yesterday was a "powder day."

It snowed all night Sunday and my brother was granted that wonder of all wonders: a snow day.

So, at 7:15 am, I was woken and told to get dressed; it was a powder day and we were going skiing.

There was fresh snow, but it wasn't a true "west-coast, total-fluff, shred-the-pow" powder day.

In fact, the snow was the exact consistency of ice cream.

It was incredible! Unlike anything I'd ever skied before.

I felt like I had been dropped onto the ice cream mountain in Candyland or something.

It's hard to explain in words other than that. But it was really cool.

Why am I not skiing today, you might ask?

Well, all that ice cream snow really took a toll on my knees. So I had to forgo the brilliant blue skies and epic groomers today in favor of resting my little old lady knees. I'll ski tomorrow. Hopefully they will have groomed again; I do enjoy skiing corduroy!

Though nothing really compares to ice cream.

I Have No Cause to Complain

2011-03-02T11:01:00.000-05:00

I really don't.

I only have ONE paper due at midterms. One 5-7 page paper no less!

No exams (until after spring break, then I have one but that's ages away)

It's REALLY not that bad.

But of course, I complain.

If I hadn't procrastinated so much yesterday, this paper would be done now.

And I'd have the rest of the day to do whatever I want (until my late class).

Jeeze, if I wasn't procrastinating RIGHT NOW that might still be an option!

But it's too hard *whine whine whine*.

I'm used to writing longer papers, I don't know how to write only 5-7 pages anymore.

I don't want to put in any more work.

This paper isn't even turning out good anyway.

I barely liked the books I have to write about.

I want to do something else instead.

Wah wah wah.

You know, I could be a nursing student, or pre-med or pre-law or something and actually have work to do right now. Stuff I can't forget once the semester is over, but have to remember my entire life in all its specific details.

I'm a writing major for heaven's sake!

I have no cause to complain.

But I am.

It's only Monday...

2011-02-28T13:41:00.002-05:00

I'm really ready for spring break. Beyond ready. I crave it.

Yes, I was only home last weekend, so it's almost anti-climactic to be heading north again so soon. I'm just done with school work for now.

And it's really bad.

I have a paper due Wednesday and I haven't started it yet.

Uh oh!

I was standing in line for the ATM today and mentally going through my week (ignoring those things I really HAVE to do because that would just make me stress) when I had to stop myself.

"Oh wait," I thought, "today isn't Tuesday. It's only Monday."

At this thought, my positive outlook for the week began to fail.

I should be glad it's only Monday. If it were Tuesday, I'd be stressing a whole lot more about this paper I have due (The one I haven't begun thinking about yet) plus everything else on my "To-Do" List.

Of all the Mondays I've had this semester though, this one sure feels the Mondayest.

I'm tapping my fingers waiting for this week to be over.

Once spring break begins, I'll be home and homework free for an entire week! (I think)

Blech. I think I've just got a case of the Mondays.

3 in a Row

2011-02-26T16:57:00.001-05:00

So, I was eating some (ok, a lot of) Dove Chocolates yesterday

And I got one with this message inside:

First of all, I don't really care to remember my first crush. It was back in elementary school! Is that supposed to make me smile or something?

Then, the next two chocolates I ate read the exact same thing.

Come on Dove! Be a little original.

I'm such a dork

2011-02-25T12:03:00.000-05:00

All I want to do today is play Sims.

I have this family right? Penelope, her husband, and their children Maude and Lars.

I started out with just Penelope. She's old now. I'm going to follow Maude as she ages too. Then her kids etc.

I'm really lame.

I know.

But it's so much easier to watch Maude do her homework or paint or write than to do any of that myself.

I need to do homework.

I should write.

I love painting.

But in Sim world I don't have to put in any real effort. There are cheat codes so I don't have to feed them, or bathe them, or make them sleep.

I do live in the real world. I'm not a Sim obsessed human being and I limit my playing time to an hour and I don't even play every day. Don't worry.

It's just today I don't want to do anything else.

Maybe that's a sign that I should. (do other things I mean)

Getting Up in the Morning

2011-02-24T08:25:00.002-05:00

Is unpleasant.

I'm at home

2011-02-18T14:20:00.000-05:00

and it feels so good.

I've decided there's nothing quite like walking through the door into your house when you've been away for a while.

Nobody was home yet when I got here, but still, just the smell of the house greeting me, and the warmth from the woodstove, the muffled bark of Lukey dog reminding me to let him out of the bathroom... it was all wonderful.

It's weird how when you live in a house all the time, you forget about the smell of it. I've been here not even 24 hours and I'm already used to it: the woodsmoke/dog/dust/food/jasmine-amber scent.

But when you first walk it, you remember, "oh yeah, it smells like home!"

It's just lovely, you know, to be able to fully relax. To be able to lie stretched out on the couch and not feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Your room is exactly how you left it and for some reason your bed is more comfortable than any other in the world.

I'm reveling in the luxury of it all.

I skied this morning, and I'm sitting with Lukey dog now and I'm just calm.

It's quiet here, in a way it isn't anywhere else.

No bright, outlandish colors: just the orange-brown of the wood and furniture and the grey-white of the snow outside and the muted dark green of fir trees. Natural colors, nothing false in this world.

I love it.

Outside Lives

2011-02-16T19:50:00.001-05:00

I just went to a reading (I know, I'm so writerly) and my professor read some of his work. I was very impressed but that's not what I am going to write about today. One of the other authors who read is also a professor at my school... it was a faculty reading... but I know some of his students were there. Anyway, he read a piece of nonfiction that he wrote and so obviously, it discussed his past which involved the ghetto, thievery and drugs. I know if he had been my professor, that would definitely weird me out. It made me think about howlittle I knoweven the professors I feel like I know. And that made me think about how little I know anyone not in my immediate circle of confidance. This links back to a conversation I had with Julie yesterday about how you really can't make assumptions about people. Everyone else is as complex as I am in their own way. The other people around me aren't flat tv or even book characters, they are real people with complex personalities too. Everyone is someone real!
This might seem like an obvious assertion but it was actually a huge realization for me. Once you get to know anyone, they are complicated too!
Wow.

(sorry for the lack of any colors etc. Or any mistakes in typology. I wrote this on my iPod.)

My Current Mood Is:

2011-02-12T13:41:00.000-05:00

Extremely Annoyed.

It costs me $5.75 to park my car.
(Don't forget I am very broke right now)
It takes me an hour to get to campus.
The darkroom is supposed to be open at noon on the weekend.

I didn't get here until 1:04.
It's not open.

Is it too much to ask for on-campus facilities to run on schedule?

The darkroom doesn't open until the monitor arrives.
Apparently, she decided to sleep in a lot today.

I didn't bring anything with me other than my film to develop and my binder that holds my contact sheets. I had a book, but I finished it on the train. My iPod's battery is extremely low. My bag is sort of heavy and it's really cold outside.

I have nothing to do while I wile away the (potential) hours until the darkroom opens.
The next monitor is set to arrive at 4, which means I might have 3 hours to kill.

What is perhaps more frustrating is that I'm currently holed up in the library which is far away from the darkroom. If Molly the Monitor does arrive, I have no way of knowing.
So, I'll have to go check periodically, which means going out in the cold, down the street, across the intersection, up the elevator and down the hall.
I don't want to do this if the darkroom is still closed.

Part of me says, "well, I can always come back tomorrow" but I'm too broke and unwilling to give up that much time out of my life.

Basically people, show up for work on time please. Your actions affect others.

(Sorry for the rant)

This is what I wear

2011-02-11T15:43:00.000-05:00

inside the house.

Why? Because it's cold.

Heat costs money.

So, I sit at my desk, dressed for arctic exploration, under a blanket.

And shiver.

I don't understand

2011-02-10T13:33:00.000-05:00

how people in my generation can be so stupid.

(get ready for a rant here)

I'm talking about smoking.

It's dumb.

Everyone knows this right?

It causes lung cancer, emphysema, bad complexion etc. etc.

Basically, smoking is really bad for you.

So... why do people still start doing it?

You're going to get addicted people!

You, out of everybody, are not immune!

You can't pretend you just don't know any better. (OK, maybe some people out there were never taught that smoking is bad for you... I doubt it, but I'll pretend to believe it here. But the people I'm talking about know!)

You went to school! At said school they told you not to start smoking. They showed you the videos and the nasty lungs and the interviews with addicts and the statistics and what exactly is in those cigarettes.

It worked for me! I won't touch them.

Why not for you?

I go to an expensive college. Most of the people who make up our student body come from wealthy families.

Most of them smoke.

OK, so it's an artsy school... but since when does artsy = let's kill ourselves by inhaling toxic poisonous smoke into our bodies?

I'm sorry people, but you don't look cool standing outside the dorms with a cancer stick in your hand.

And I, for one, do not appreciate being forced to breathe your second hand cigarette smoke just because I need to walk through the area where you're standing.

Public drunkenness is irritating, but when you are drunk and around me, you're not forcing me to be drunk. When I have to walk through the throngs of smokers outside every building on campus, I am being forced to smoke.

I don't like that.

It's selfish, really.

Some of the lower income families where I'm from manage to smoke cigarettes. (How, I'm not sure, it's expensive...) I wonder what these parents are denying their children due to their selfish addiction?

And the horrible thing is, it's a cyclical circle. Because those kids will do the same thing when they grow up.

(Obviously, the above is not true in all cases. I don't mean to generalize.)

All in all here are the facts:

1. Smoking is bad for you.

2. You will get addicted to cigarettes if you smoke them.

3. Smoking is a selfish act.

4. Smoking is expensive.

5. It's easier to not ever do it than to quit but

6. You should quit ( if not for yourself then for every person around you!)

Basically, smoking is one of those things that just pisses me off. How are people so dumb? It's an idiotic thing to do. And I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone out there who is a smoker, but it's the darn truth.

Don't whine to me about not being able to quit. You should never have started in the first place.

Special

2011-02-01T18:04:00.002-05:00

I Love my Friends This Much!

For February

2011-02-01T12:17:00.000-05:00

I have made a pact.

I will eat healthier (meaning no desserts every day, choosing salad whenever possible, turning down the very tempting red velvet cupcakes at Starbucks, only having one piece of chocolate instead of many etc.)

I am cutting down on my TV time. (This means that when I watch my evening episode of Charmed online, I only watch ONE episode, and maybe not even every day.)

I will go back to writing in my journal on a nightly basis.

This morning I slipped up a little bit. I accidentally ate a rice crispy treat at this presentation I was at. Hey, they were free! It was humongous, but not at all worth it. I didn't cheat on purpose either, that's the thing. I just forgot. This means no more sweets for me today at all. Which is sort of disappointing. If I'm going to break my health kick, I at least want to be aware of it and choose wisely. Oh well. Since then, I've done ok. I made my boyfriend buy me a salad at the food court today instead of getting a slice of pizza. I don't tend to consider pizza one of the worst foods health-wise, but I KNOW salad is healthier.

As for the rest, the day has barely begun. I will do my best.